Questionable Methods Have Pokémon’s Progression System Under Fire

Originally touted as a way to integrate the real world into a video game, many saw this move as a positive one- forcing gamers off the couch and onto the sidewalks for the ultimate bragging rights. Of course, others have looked for ways to “cheat” the game’s version of a pedometer with such workarounds as taping your phone to a ceiling fan or harnessing it to a, comparatively more active, family pet. It’s not just fans looking to “show-up” their friends that have gotten in on the craze. This summer, myriad millenials, and even professionals that found themselves with a bit too much free time could be seen in large public areas, stopping randomly, and then flicking at the screen on their phones, until… a smile peeks, as they continue heading wherever they were meaning to go. It’s all good, clean, mass appealing fun, right? Well, not for everyone. (more…)

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Sad & Whatever

Sad. That’s sad. What’s really sad is losing the meaning of sad through a continually out of touch candidate that uses the word much like one would casually use “whatever” in the 90s. Try it. Everytime you read an article or hear a speach when Donald Trump caps off a rant with this one word, supposed “thought-provoking” insight, just replace it in your head with “whatever”. Go back a bit more than a decade and insert Alicia Silverstone’s tone in Clueless. “What-ever!” He is clueless after all. Sad. Perhaps, this will make the speeches and tweets easier to stomach. Whatever.

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Introduction of Dylan Kelley

Monday 7:30 am

Overcast skies loom overhead, as the rain beats down hard against Dylan’s old, black Continental. Carelessly, he pulls to the side of the road at a blocked off intersection on the corner of 13th and Maddux. It’s usually a calm spot for the big, little city of Camino. Yellow tape is strewn about haphazardly. Dylan stumbles out of his car. Nonchalantly, he ducks under the tape. A uniformed officer rushes towards him. He’s screaming, “This is a crime scene!”

Dylan slurs his words, as a faint scent of bourbon wafts off his lips, “Yeah buddy, man, guy… huh?” With his shoulders slumped deeply, he sways a bit as he continues, “It sure looks that way. You want it?” Dylan’s awkward disposition has clearly distorted the officer’s preconceptions.

“Officer Kelley?” He inquires. 
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NEW PROJECT: Rewriting the Bible

GENESIS

In the beginning, there was nothing. No people, no wifi, and no pizza on a bagel (so you can eat pizza anytime). But then, God said “this sucks”. And so he made people. He made the people, and trees, and other nature shit and said “this is pretty fuckin’ bomb”. And so it was.

But then the people were just wandering. It started as just two people. They were technically siblings, but they fucked anyways, ‘cause that’s really the only way to make other people. God had told them that and they were like “well if God says to bang each other, we should probably do it.” There was a brief encounter with a snake and an apple- and for some reason the apple ended up being more dangerous. Don’t ask me. God just told me to write about how life started. (more…)

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“Hope” Less in Arkansas

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Nestled a short twenty-five miles from the Texas border lie a tiny, little town filled with simple folks, sub-par dining options, and more watermelons than you can shake a stick at. I stayed at the finest hotel in town, which turned out to be a dilapidated Holiday Inn Express. However, I was quickly reminded, by the homely hotel staff, that we were in the best location in town. As this hotel is physically located in the parking lot of Hope, Arkansas’ most popular stomping ground- Walmart…

After the five hour cruise, I was ready for a drink. How lucky I was, then, to be so conveniently located to Walmart. Of course, even without the help of liquor, my eagerness quickly washed away. I walked past isle after isle, clearly looking for something. Not one of the myriad of employees or, as they prefer, “associates” offered me any help, though I clearly looked hopelessly lost. Finally, I concluded, I would need to approach someone on my own volition, as I track down these beverages. At a checkout counter, I met with a dim and very unfriendly young man. “Where do you keep the liquor?” I asked.

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Buy My Books!

SMASHWORDS

storms

 

I’m fucking with you! Just read it. “Storms Much Stronger” is available for free download, on both SmashWords and Lulu. It was my first novella, and this is the 10 year anniversary. Have at it, friends. Unfortunately, whichever site you choose requires you to sign up for an account, but it is free and they don’t solicit. I recommend using Lulu, because the e-book is delivered directly to your e-mail, and can be opened easily in iBooks.

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“One Big Hell House” An Adventure Game

Who says text-based video games went out in the 90’s? Not me. Play now @ http://philome.la/mrheathy/one-big-hell-house. Of course, if you were following me on twitter, you would already know this. 

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